"Bombing for peace is like fucking for virginity"

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

greener pastures...

Not only am I packing up and moving my house, I'm moving my blog too. Please check me out http://sugarmagnolia66.vox.com/
If you join definitely let me know. I'd love to stay in touch!!

greener pastures...

Not only am I packing up and moving my house, I'm moving my blog too. Please check me out here.
If you join definitely let me know. I'd love to stay in touch!!

Monday, January 22, 2007

just a list

Just a list of things that gripe my ass::

1.) You're a friggin' waitress...could you give me a damn refill and then remove the kitchen full of shit we have stacked on our teeny tiny table? I was a waitress once upon a time, I know how it is - it sucks most of the time. But I pride myself on being a good customer and a good tipper but you, Miss Thang, you're really testing me here...

2.) "Ohmigah, it's like you're 20th birthday??!! {clapping hands} That's like too awesome!! We're so going to Friday's and have the waiters sing to you!! Like totally!! We are getting like sooo old {tee hee}!" - - - - - UGH. - - - - - It's right about now that someone should be removing all sharp objects from my table...

3.) To the "High Heel Committee" that's blocking the only path from the bathroom to my table "MOVE!" Don't just stand there, I know you see my ass so MOVE! And no, I have no intentions of apologizing to your lap dog boyfriend for grabbing his arm and saying "You're gonna have to move." Not gonna happen. I realize that most of your upper-middle class life / low-upper class life has been spent just being in the way - and I'm sure that you're lack of purpose has been for the most part received as precious because you're "Daddy's wittle pwincess" but to me it's just annoying...that and your "like totally fetch" fur lined demin trench and your knee high "Cher" boots. Get. Out. Of. My. Fucking. Way. You. Usless. Walking. Vagina. And. Take. Your. Stupid. Friends. And. Their. Bone. Straight. Hair. With. You.

4.) How come everyone is this town has a friggin' nose ring?? Shit. Fall into the GAP, right?

5.) Oh, sizzling chicken and cheese...you done me wrong...you done me so so wrong...I'm afraid to sneeze because...well, you know...

6.) Me: But I don't wanna pack anymore!! {kicking and screaming} LOL.

7.) To the cable company: No, don't you worry. I don't need to have a working home phone. Nope. I'm only trying to coordinate schedules and move our entire life to Japan. No, no, no - you don't worry your pretty little head about it. I'll just send a carrier pigeon.

8.) To my cell phone company: Why is it that I can get a signal everywhere but my house? I can get a signal in a boat, 20 miles off shore on a cloudy day but I can't get a signal from my sofa. Sweet.

And this concludes Monday's addition of "what gripes Katie's ass." Thank you for reading.

Friday, January 19, 2007

the madness in photo form

I was planning on doing a "before and after" photo so you could see the difference in the house before the madness began...and then it hit me...we don't have any before pics because our hard-drive fried on us a while back and took all of our pics with it. Son-of-a-bitch!!! I can't tell you how pissed off I am to remember NOW that we have no pics of our beautiful first home together...now that it's a complete and total hovel filled with boxes!! I mean seriously!! Thanks goodness for video cameras...at least we have a little footage to remember our home by. Anyway, here's the "after" pic...just use your imagination for the "before" - LOL.

Yepper, that's us...the fantastic packers...ain't we sweet?

yes we are

Greetings blogger buddies!! I wanted to take a sec and answer Kat's question from my last blog...yes we are taking the babies. Well, right now we are only planning on taking the dogs...we're keeping our fingers crossed that some how, some way we can take Layla (the cat). The rules for overseas animals says that you are only allowed to bring 2 animals and we really don't want to separate the dogs. Not to mention Buddy is too big and Bo is too "Beagle" (if you have one or know one you know exactly what I mean by "too Beagle") to ask any family or friends to watch them for 3 years. My mom and dad have been so sweet and offered to keep Layla for us in the event that we can't take her. I really don't want to think about having to leave her - even if it is with my parents - because she was my first little baby (before I met G, Buddy and Bo)...the thought of not taking her makes me want to cry...even though she kinda hates my ass...lol.
What I don't understand is why people are allowed to bring their 700 children with them and I can't being my cat and my 2 dogs. Now it's not to say that I think there should be a limit on the number of children you can bring but shit, my puppies and kitty are my babies - I don't have any human children yet, sue me. Suppose that we never wanted to have kids (which isn't the case - but hear me out)...suppose we chose not to have children and looked at our animals as our children...how can you ask us to leave one behind? It's not like we have a frickin' herd or something. Two dogs and one cat...I think that's pretty standard. Not to mention, they're well cared for - better than some humans anyway. We have emailed the housing people over in Okinawa and have asked what we have to do to be able to bring Layla (our inside cat who has been fixed and has no interest in going outside...) - still no word.
Please don't think that I'm hating on people with large families because I'm totally not. It's just that our pets are more than "pets" to us and it's impossible to have take that sort of decision lightly. One day when we have a brood of about 5 kids (like any good Catholic family) along with 2 dogs and one cat I might feel a little differently, but I doubt it. They are my lovelies and I want them with me.
I'm dreading (Dreading with a capital "D") the plane trip on so many levels but especially when it comes to the "boys." We asked our vet what would be best for the pups to keep them from freaking out or whatever and the vet said that we really couldn't do much. We are not allowed to give them any sort of sedative or anything because apparently animals in the past have not responded well to medicines while flying. And, too, I think that it's easier for the people involved to be able to monitor them under unmedicated circumstances as far as breathing and stuff goes. So, what it all boils down to is that I will have to revert and pick up my old pot smoking habit long enough to burn a hog leg with the dogs before the flight so we're all nice and relaxed...well, at least me and the dogs...G is on his own. LOL.
Please keep us in your prayers. We're gonna need them. LOL. (No, seriously)...

Thursday, January 18, 2007

"honey, have you seen the computer?"

Packing...packing, packing, packing...oh, how I hate to pack. I'm officially "unemployed" - which is quite fabulous, actually. But now that I have quit working my new job is to pack pack pack. Ugh. Our house is a total hovel at the moment.

Here's how it works for all of you non-military folks...
TMO (no, I don't know what it stands for) - aka: the "movers" - come to the house and pack everything up for you. They wrap dishes - load boxes - label boxes...they are wonderful and I love them. Normally moving is no fun but it's not too bad with TMO's help. But since we are moving to Japan we are very limited in the amount of weight we can take with us - this means not one, not two, but three moves!! The "storage" move - for all of the stuff that we chose not to bring, the "express" shipment - things we will need right away (pots and pans, bedding, etc), and the "rest" - everything else we've chosen to take but do not need immediately. In addition to the those three moves we are having a gianormous yard sale...I mean we are selling everything: sofa and chaise, bedroom set, all kinds of crap. And since we are scheduled for a shit-ton of moves we have to have everything organized for TMO so they can come in and get cracking - that's where I come in. Our otherwise beautiful home has been reduced to a make-shift storage unit. The rooms are no longer "guest room" / "office" / "dining room" / guest bath" but rather "storage" / "to Japan 1" / "to Japan 2" / "what the hell is this shit?" rooms. Blech.

I'm working on my second pot of coffee and I'm about to polish off my first pack of cigs. The dogs and the cat are a little out of sorts - they know something's going on. Poor babies.

It's not to say that I've been doing this non-stop. I've taken time to eat a little something and watch my new guilty-pleasure show "I love New York" because I do, in fact, love New York. She's too fabulous. As well as a few other shows on "E!" with the fashion police being catty about the red-carpet outfits {Did you see Beyonce? Come on!! Are you kidding me??}

All in all I like being a housewife...who knew? I wouldn't quite consider myself a "Desperate Housewife" I think I'm more of a "Dusty Housewife" at this point. LOL. Seriously, I don't think I've ever dusted - I've almost blown out my goozler a few times because I can't stop sneezing. Good Lawd, could I use a little Pledge now and then? Sheesh. Some "housewife" I am, huh? My hero:: Peg Bundy...LOL.

Okay, enough blogging...gosta get to packing...later gators.

Friday, January 12, 2007

stupid emails

If I get one more email comparing the snow in Colorado to what happened in New Orleans w/Katrina (more importantly and coincidentally left out of the witty emails - the levies) I will puke. It's comparing apples to oranges. Geez-oh-Pete. Whoever wrote that trite bullshit should be sent down to the Ninth Ward for a little while. Let him / her spend some quality time in the stench, the rot and the ruin.
The email is crap and it's in bad (bad) taste.

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